In the thick of it (March, 2012)

3/3/12

Saturday. Woke at 5:00 am with my knees, wrists and fingers aching and toes burning more than they have in the past week and a half. This caught my attention before I could fall back asleep. Damn.

Will this fade as I wake up and move around like it usually does or does this mean I am in for a few days of increased discomfort? Just last night I was so full of joy about having two good weeks in a row with little or no nausea and minimal pain. I hadn’t noticed how low my energy was until I realized how much stronger I have been feeling over the past few days. Dear Universe, “May I be peaceful? May I heal?” Yes? “May I heal now?”

3/23/12

Finally seem to be feeling better today after a rough week of achy knees, poor sleep and sagging energy. This week confirmed that I am definitely not in the category of superwoman these days. Struggled getting out of my own way and forgetting things. Drove all the way to work (50 minutes) on Monday morning and realized I left my computer at home. Shit! Tuesday, managed to leave to work at the time I was planning to be at work and was late for the meeting I was supposed to be co-leading. Double shit! Struggling to get my brain in gear and my boss adds extra work of working on a grant with a too tight deadline on top of the deadlines I am already trying to meet. Groan. Groan. Poor me. Just remember, you are so lucky compared to people who have severe Lyme. Remember and count your blessings. And, don’t forget to pay attention to the lessons. Maybe you aren’t meant to be superwoman in the first place? Here’s hoping that this Herx cycle is over and good days lie ahead. So it is 8:32 and I still have to prepare for a radio interview tomorrow. Better snap to it and iron my clothes, pack my drugs and kraut for tomorrow’s lunch box so I can go to bed.

3/31/12

I was hoping at this point to be cheerily describing a few days of good rest and low symptoms. Instead, we added in new medications (Bactrim & HH) which caused an upturn in the burning in my toes & fingers, added a new annoying buzzing in my head – all of which has been peaking during the night and disturbing my sleep.

Timing with life events couldn’t be worse (ok – things can always be worse) with higher demands on my energy both at work and on the weekends. The good news is, I managed to host a very successful community event on Thursday and finish a grant on Friday. The bad news is, it is Saturday morning and I had to get up at 5:00 am in order to “volunteer” for a work event in Plymouth this morning and then head to Berlin to visit my brother Ken who I haven’t seen in almost 2 years. Also a check in with sister-in-law who has been struggling with my mother-in-laws medical crisis (hospital for the past 3 weeks.) Maybe I can nap in the car between Plymouth & Berlin. I hope so! Ken’s band show goes to 1:00 am this morning. Way too late for me.

Ok so I am struggling to be positive. It would be easier to “welcome” the herx reactions as progress forward with a bit more sleep under my belt. Nobody said it would be easy. And, yes I know I could be in far worse shape. Just remember.

Extra:
Herx – isn’t it a harsh, crappy sounding word?  It stands for the Jarrish-Herxheimer reaction which happens when an increase or change in antibiotics or other treatment cause a die-off of Borrelia Burgdorferi releasing toxins into the body.

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